1. |
Instrument
07:49
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My burden is to wrest a beautiful note
From under the pin of Death's paw
For the world is unbearably silent
And its silence ferments in my jaw
For the world is full of wonder
And I am the fruit of its awe
I am calling
I am crying out
I am calling
I am crying out
For a song that devours
And a song that redeems
For a song to play
At the feet of a god
Who looks just like me
I am calling
I am crying out
I am calling
I am crying out
I will be an instrument
For him I will be
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2. |
Death Is an Exhale
05:05
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Our love is in a tomb alone
On some iron white star
One hundred trillion years away
In which I held your body
Deeply and wide
I needed your life
So titanically to take mine
And dissolve it into yours
In a paste of wild and beating flowers
That I killed everyone
I had ever known
In your name
And in my fury
Cried out to the heavens:
Death is an exhale!
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3. |
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We suffer our whole lives in a desert
Of stone and sand which formed over aeons
By your withering eye
There is no such thing as rain
There has never been any such thing
Every single day we search for water in names and ruins
Every single day we search and find only dust
Every single day we try to live lives without love
And even in these lands we fail
Every single day I fail
But on the first day of spring
I bear witness to an augur
As I watch your limbs dissolve into rivers
And your body a polyamorous sea
And I remember your torment
And I remember your hideous voice
That sings of love as a well
That has always existed
And that a lover’s work is to dig
Let it come down
It won’t come down
It’s okay
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4. |
Progeny
12:47
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To her the river I have emptied my poisons
So that she would carry to sea
The seed of the beast that has slept underneath
The ship I am sailing to thee
For I have tried to aim you
But you cannot be aimed
And I have tried to blame you
But you cannot be blamed
So I tread the river towards the horror
That in battle would overcome me
For I know that a war would settle no score
Yet still I am sailing my ship to thee
For I have tried to maim you
But you cannot be maimed
And I have tried to tame you
But you cannot be tamed
I bear the marks of your claws on my flesh
They adorn me like radiant jewels
For you are the blade and I am the artificer
And we are the progeny of this violence
For I have tried to rape you.
But you cannot be raped
And I have tried to escape you.
But you cannot be escaped
I come to you bearing a gift
Of a strong white horse
A horse of compassion
A horse of recompense
I have come to lay my weapons
On your shore
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5. |
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I will forgive myself
I will find a way
I will love myself
I will find a way
I will sit at the feet of these mountains
And compose time
I have found a way
Let the season of fear be over soon
I will find a way
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6. |
Tributary
10:58
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I respect our love
It has changed my life
And I know that love
Does not come freely
I am bound to you
I have utmost responsibility
Just like the stream you are hearing
Beneath my voice—
No matter how tiny
Its winding body may be,
It must meet its river,
It must empty into its lake
Because it is the river
Because it is the lake
I know the ocean waits up ahead
Its mouth is wide open,
Its teeth are bared
And to confluence with it
Has always been
The death of deaths
So let us swim together
Into those trembling black waters—
I want to spend my life with you
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7. |
Birdshapes
09:31
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The bird, curled against the cold
Pushes its beak into the warmth of its breast
Assuming a shape commanding nothing of glory
Like a wingspan unfurling and taking to sky
For this bird has never had the power
To beat the land away with ease
And this bird has never flown far enough
To have ever truly felt free
But if a hymn should arise from its throat in the winter
It will not be to condemn the snow
For even if the melody rings sweet and true
It will never hurry the coming of spring
So the bird will just have to wait
Until the winter breaks
Because for now it is living
And life is enough
To be worthy of a singer to sing
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Mythmaking Calgary, Alberta
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